humanity

speak a language
of
humanity that
detracts
political importance

because....

excessively powerful
destruction
by order of
reasons.

my blackout poetry anniversary

returning, after a long time of posting nothing here.

i'm also returning to my one of my senior projects after an almost equally long amount of time after it's exhibition. 

it's what got me so hooked onto blackout poetry in the first place, and this blog's existence. as i worked on my blackout project, i wanted to save the individual poetries as the happened. i have worked on enough projects to have thrown away most ideas of a work staying the same throughout the entire creative process. even if i did want to keep it concrete, it needed to be flexible and changeable in order to be something creative. i allowed that and it worked. a few years after its completion, i am still very pleased and even quite proud of this project. 

it became what i wanted, what i needed. it was personal, but still something i could share, it had impact on others. i found a way to record the changing process. i can look back and know where the switches turned on. i had to take a deep breath and cross out things i thought i needed in order to move on and make all the pieces come together, forming a story i knew was what it needed to become. and i even forgot if i was working and thinking on my art project or life. i find that both have lessons like this to give.

 the starting panel all the way to the end, taking the viewer on a stroll as they read my journey.

as i worked, i was still writing page after page in journal after journal recording my own changes and experiences and trying to make sense of life. 

 each panel carried it's own story and look and feel, but after looking back and around, figuring it all out, each panel lead to the next step of the story.

"we decided together to show people the beginning" this was the last panel of my work. because even though the reading was over, life was still just starting. and by now, i knew i was not alone.

to read the final poem, you can skip to my post called the journal/the journey.

the journal, the journey

waiting...
story

i was disappointed
lonely
i was disappointed
pissed off
who's there?

terribly lonely

constant pain
problem
i once ignored people in pain

everything is very painful alone

answers
anxiety
silence
the answer is no better

issues
abuse
tough
follow the evidence

struggling
suffer
struggling
stressors
suffer
for anyone who is concerned

the storm descended
extra weight
break
tender leaf killed

cutting
watch the impact
cut more

emphasis on the impact
possibility
purusing
cost of pursuing
possibility

i could see through the facade
disappointment surrounded by promises

can i judge them?
i don't know.

holding out alone
commmunication never happens at random

talks started efforts to turn around

a lot have gone through a similar thing

finally had a winning mistake
it takes time
don't discourage

radical solution to long developing problems
drastic change

friendships have a result
people

trust has been a battle.
live.

attempt to win battles.
denied
battle back
victory

fighting not as easy
possible to live

trying to heal the pain
the shared universe of sorrow

confronting the pain
hope
hope is real
can i have one more hug?

protected
innocent and unnoticed

genuine heartbreak
personal

breaking point
identity
you are under the surface

redeem innocence

live
be bold
love

focused on recovery
part of something more

saved her
hope
not alone
recovery

original
beautiful
be surprised

we decided together to show people the beginning.

4 courage

holding out alone

communication
never happens at random

unfamiliar strategy
patterns and polls
more diverse than ever

begin.